Andy, If You're Starting a Revolution, Fax Me the Date, a play by Remé A. Grefalda

ACT II

SCENE: An ordinary room with a bed, a night table and a desk. Sunlight is streaming through the bars of a high window to the floor.

Aguinaldo: You know, Joey, you really should have called us when you got off the S.S. Colon. Andy and I would have picked you up and you could have stayed with me and the Missus. How much are they charging you for this room?

Rizal: Actually, they’re giving me a great deal.

Aguinaldo: Yeah? Is it a Triple A discount?

Rizal: No, no! A physician’s discount, 40%!

Aguinaldo: My, God, Joey, that’s quite a cut. And the season’s not over yet. The Spanish Hilton Hotel must love you.

Rizal: Well, it helps that I gave the Kapitan autographed copies of my novels! Of course, the place needs curtains. By six, the morning sun shines right through those bars! I’m afraid I’m booked here at least till December 30. Check out time, 6:30AM. Listen, I’m glad you came.

Aguinaldo: It’s been a while, paré! So, what is this thing you wanted to see me about. It’s not an Amway thing, is it? The Missus was really pissed off when I joined Amway. She won’t give up her Tide, her Comet, her Joy. I keep telling her Amway’s got the whole kitchen and they’re the best! Women, bah! What do they know!

Rizal: No, no, none of that. Since I couldn’t make Diamond, I’ve put Amway on hold. But I need your advice on this new project I’m doing.

Aguinaldo: Well, what is it? C’mon don’t keep me in suspense!

Rizal: Well... uh...uh.. You know I’ve been writing furiously these days. But lately . . . uh. . . I wrote this song —

Aguinaldo:(Gives him a funny look. Like, "You’re not queer, are you?" look) You... wrote... a... song?

Rizal: Yeah! And I was hoping you’d find a market for it maybe here, maybe in Hong Kong. Mariano Ponce says bahala daw siya if I get a copy to him.

Aguinaldo: Sure, let me hear it and you know me, I always give an honest critique.

Rizal: Well, here’s the background.... This song is for our countrymen. Who knows I may not be coming back again after December 30. Josephine thinks I travel too much and she really doesn’t care if I’m racking up the mileage. So this is really a goodbye song. Here goes—

Goodbye....
You hate to see me go.
But I have to, this time.
So long...
I’ll miss you all, you know.
But I’m going, this time.
Adieu ...

Aguinaldo: Hold it! Hold it! (Rizal stops) It’s... (searching for the right word and settles for ...) terrific! But I think you can do even better! (sees Rizal’s puzzled look) So it will reach future generations. Y’see, the song will only be popular in the 50’s or maybe the 60’s. If you’re lucky, it might hit the "Oldies but Goodies" charts, but that’s all. Now, if you made it like a poem (Rizal makes a face "Yuck!"), Andrew Lloyd Webber might use it for his next musical. He lost his lyricist, you know.

Rizal: Tim Rice left the team? That’s terrible. What is he doing now? Poor Andrew Lloyd.

Aguinaldo: Tim decided to be a full time Barrister in London, and a part-time composer with Disney.

Rizal: What a cop-out! So what do you suggest?

Aguinaldo: Well, you could use the same theme. Only make it more romantic, nostalgic, something like ... "You are sunlight, And I moon."

ENTER Captain of the Guards. Stays back a distance and eavesdrops.

Rizal: But the sun and the moon don’t usually say goodbye. But they could.... (ponders the point). Yeah, the moon could be saying goodbye to the sun before the final eclipse. Let’s see... (reciting as in a poem):

Goodbye, you sun of a gun.
You rascal fire of our Eden Lost
You yellow ball of everlasting blaze.

Aguinaldo: That’s good, that’s good! (Sees the Captain nodding, waves him in as a back-up) Don’t you think so, Kapitan?

Kapitan: Yeah, you could use a rap tempo on it for future use. What would your title be?

Rizal: "My Final Tata"?

Aguinaldo: How about "So Long Will Never Be The Same!"

Kapitan: You can even use a romance language, "Ma Triste Au Revoir" or "Adios Mi Sol Adorada". Hey, take this down. I’m really getting inspired...

Adios, Patria adorada [first stanza of Rizal’s"My Last Farewell" in Spanish]

Rizal takes notes pausing for help in spelling some words. SOUND: Hating Gabi violin music as Rizal scribbles away.

Aguinaldo: (scanning the pages) This will make you famous, Joey. I guarantee it! I’m willing to go to Hongkong and have 20 copies made by Mariano. This is great!

Rizal: Kapitan, didn’t you say that Xerox Corporation announced a sale on copying 2-sided documents.

Kapitan: Hey, that’s right!

Aguinaldo: How many copies do you want? Any color preference?

Rizal: I leave that to your good judgment, Emy. Thanks, you were great, Kapitan. Uh...uh...no offense but you aren’t thinking of a joint-authorship on this—are you? I know I will be racking up the royalties in the future ... I could offer you P5.00 a week from my royalties for a hundred years, but only if it’s okay with you.

Kapitan: Hey, no sweat. Don’t worry about it! What’s money after all! At the rate of exchange, I would need boxes to keep all those pesos. The Crown in Spain is most reasonable, but they wouldn’t like my name appearing in sentimental nostalgic pieces. I used to write lyrics for jingles. Remember this one?

I luv coffee.
I luv tea.
I luv the java-java
It loves me

Rizal & Aguinaldo: (soft shoe routine and joining him)

Coffee ’n’ tea
and the java and me
a-cup-acup-a-cuppa-cuppa CUP!

Aguinaldo: That was yours?

Rizal: That was my all time favorite!

Kapitan: I just couldn’t keep up with the deadlines. So, I quit. (Turns to Aguinaldo) Hey, Emy, I thought you guys had a dress rehearsal today for that revolution?

Aguinaldo: Nah, Andy changed the schedule for next Thursday. He has a meeting today with San Miguel Beer. And besides, Poli Mabini— you’ve met him, haven’t you, Joey?

Rizal: (shaking his head) Is he the soloist in that rock group, "The Sublime Paralytic"?

Aguinaldo: Yeah, that’s him. Well, Poli’s wheel chair is under repair, so he’s not as mobile as he’d like to be. And he’s really bent on carrying a placard. So the whole thing is postponed.

Kapitan: Hey, Emy, it’s good to see you! Listen, Joey (Wink, wink) we haven’t heard anything yet. But as soon as the fax comes in, I’ll deliver the notice to you in person. Take it easy, guys! (Exits)

Rizal: Thanks (wink, wink). See ya, Kapitan!

Aguinaldo: Gotta go too, Joey. I’ll drop by tomorrow. Let’s have merienda or something. Regards na lang to Josie.

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